I’m not exactly writing to a public audience here, but yes, I am posting on the public internet. Feel free to read.
After spending too much money on (sometimes) attractive people from an unhealthy codependent place in my heart, I realized the need to process my experiences. Multiple people have reported the entertainment value of some of my experiences as well.
In this blog, I summarize the emotional context behind my attempts to self-soothe unhealthy neuroses through a combination of mangled attempts toward meaningful relationships on one end of the spectrum, exorbitant purchases of transactional sex from prostitutes on the other end, and the space I hoped I could create in between those two facets of myself. My experiences are influenced by a complicated childhood which will also be explored.
I’d like to characterize these personal endeavors here with first-person narratives, amateur psychoanalysis, poetry, and whatever explorations in writing that could lead me to understand my own actions.